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Upon opening his mouth, I smelled an odor that now ranks on my
top ten list of “Things I Never Want to Smell Again In This
Lifetime”. Imagine, if you will, the scent of hemorrhoids
and multiply by 1,000. My eyes, they watered.
I considered asking him to rinse with Listerine, but my military
training helped me gut out the rest of the appointment. Still, I
made sure to focus on “tongue brushing” during my oral
hygiene lecture. Never underestimate the tongue. (KS)
Being Big Fuck
August 1997
Athens, Ohio
I am a big fuck. Once I had sex with a girl and then pretended
to fall a sleep so that she would leave and I could go out and party
with my friends. She did, and 30 minutes later I was down at the
bar getting hammered and finding new girls to be a jerk to. What
is it with girls falling all over guys that are dicks? I mean, I
have grown up since college and now try to be a nice guy. But women
stop talking to me after a couple of hours. Maybe I should be an
asshole and get more sex. (SE)
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