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(Three Questions With a Shitting Dungeons & Dragons Master)

RR: How’s everything going in there?

JM: Super. (Jesse farts for emphasis.)

RR: So, Jesse, we all know psionic energy can be shaped and used by psionicists and wild talents to produce desired effects called psionic powers. Of course, we also know all psionic powers are grouped into one of five categories or disciplines based on how the energy is used. But here’s my question: I can never remember what races are allowed psionic powers. There are five. Name four. You have ten seconds. Go!

JM: Elves, humans, gnomes, and, umm…orks. (Editor’s note: He’s actually defecating between words. This is disgusting, but oddly intriguing.)

RR: What the fuck is an ork? The other two races are halflings and dwarves. You pretty much suck. When I was in high school, all the kids that played D&D wore long trench coats and sat outside on the stone picnic tables. Sometimes these same kids were in the drama club, or at least they knew someone in the drama club. So you’re a little gay, right?

JM: Nope. (Giggling ensues, followed by an enormous plop.)

RR: Thanks, you sick bastard.

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