Errortype: II

by Kyle Sowash

Editor’s Note: Kyle Sowash is a difficult man to anger. That’s a lie. You can piss off Kyle pretty quickly, but to make him hate you, now that’s an accomplishment. However, Kyle isn’t a man to piss off; he’s becoming a dentist. Even though he lives in Columbus, Ohio, you never know when (or where) you’ll need a root canal. When that painful time comes, you better hope you haven’t angered him.

I used to put on rock concerts when I lived in Lubbock, Texas. I did this because good bands never swung through my corner of the Lone Star State. There just weren’t any venues. So, I rented a space and started hosting shows. For the most part, bands were grateful. But for every nine cool bands, there was one band that made you want to vomit. And one such bilious band is Long Island’s own Errortype: II.

I had received their CD in the mail–it wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t too good. Think bland mid-90s pop punk with emo leanings. Anyway, they were traveling through Texas and wanted shows. I offered Lubbock. They agreed. I tossed several local bands on the bill and then flyered the hell out of the concert.

Well, the show rolled around and so did Errortype: II. After mocking the space, Errortype: II started whining because not more than 20 people showed up. I suggested maybe Bush, who was playing across town that night, had stolen some of their crowd. I think the singer, Arty, thought I was joking, or just couldn’t face the fact that Gavin Rossdale outdrew them. The truth was, Long Island was a long way from western Texas.

When it was Errortype: II’s turn to play, they felt it was a hassle to move all their gear from the van. Instead, they decided, in Arty’s words, to play a "rare acoustic set." "We’re the fucking Goo Goo Dolls," he added. Sadly enough, the Goo Goo Dolls they were not. After cracking a few jokes about how people must’ve "done some fucked up shit in their past lives to wind up in a place like Lubbock," Errortype: II played an Oasis cover and a smattering of songs that even a mother couldn’t love. And then their special acoustic set was over.

Afterward, the band crashed at my friend Sean’s house. Arty repeatedly offended people with remarks about how "Mexicans work for two cents a day sweeping streets and they LOVE it" and how "A woman’s place is in the kitchen." Arty convinced my friend Steven to see who could drink the most flaming Dr. Peppers. Arty won because Steven decided to pass out after five. With Steven passed out, Arty tried to get Melanie, Steven’s wife, to "go out to the van" with him. She said, "no." He got pissed.

Errortype: II, I hate you.